Things I Never Knew About Them
by kdr2730
Summary: COMPLETE! ONE-SHOT! AU Jax and Tara! "I'm sorry. I just can't be like you..."


**Disclaimer: I do not own Sons of Anarchy or these characters. Kurt Sutter does. Laura, JJ and Grace are mine own though.**

Here it is! Please be kind in the reviews, this is going to be a different Jax and Tara story. I hope you enjoy!

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><p><em>Italics are going to the flashbacks of Jax and Tara<em>!

A little background for the story:

· Jax does not die the way he did in the show.

· Gemma killed Unser not Jax.

· Jax doesn't kill Gemma.

· Juice dies in jail by getting shot during a riot.

· Wendy and Nero have brought Abel and Thomas back to Charming every year since Tara and Jax died in July for a weekend. This way the boys know the guys and the guys know the boys.

· Thomas is going to school to become a doctor, like Tara.

· Abel is a police officer and engaged at the beginning of the story.

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><p>Abel stood in front of the headstones: <em>Tara Grace Knowles<em> and _ Jackson Nathanial Teller_. His parents. He doesn't really remember them besides what Wendy and Nero have been telling him for twenty five years. But now standing here he didn't know what to believe. All his life Wendy and Nero had been telling him that his Dad loved his Mom, but Abel only remembered the bad times between his parents, the fighting and not the not talking to each other. No good times.

Sitting down between the two headstones he didn't hear Bobby come up, "Abel I'm glad you came." Bobby said sitting by the tree.

"Thanks Bobby. I had to. I have to know." Abel said looking at him, "Did my Dad really love my Mom?"

Bobby laughed, "Abel your Dad adored your Mom." he said leaning back, 'let me tell you about them in high school."

"Okay." Abel responded leaning against Tara's headstone.

"I'm not going to give you their whole history or we'll be here until next year."

"That's cool." Abel said, "How did they get together?"

Bobby smiled, "Right to the heart of the matter. You're definitely Tara Knowles son."

Abel smiled and looked at Tara's headstone, "Yeah I guess I am, but I think I have some of Dad too."

"You do Abel. More than you probably know." Bobby said, "Alright onto your Mom's sophomore year homecoming dance."

_Begin Flashback: _

_Tara stood by her locker, it was Thursday. The first dance of the year was tomorrow night, homecoming. She had never been one to go to a school dance but this time she wanted too. Looking over her shoulder she quickly checked out Jax Teller, the Prince of Charming. She didn't know why she was attracted to him, but she was. Maybe it was his blonde locks, his signature smirk, his attitude or maybe it was just the way he didn't care. Tara cared too much, she had been ignored for years and she was tired of it. _

_Shutting her locker she began her journey home with her favorite view, her feet. She wasn't paying attention when she ran into someone, "Oh God I'm sorry." she stuttered looking up at Harry 'Opie' Winston, Jax's best friend. _

_"It's alright." Opie said smiling, "how are you Tara?" _

_"I'm okay. Ready for the weekend." she replied blushing, she hadn't talked to Opie in almost two years. _

_"Know what you mean. School just started and I'm ready for summer again." Opie said leaning back against the lockers, "Are you going to homecoming?" _

_"No." Tara squeaked. _

_"Why not?" _

_"No one asked me." _

_"That's crazy. You're pretty." _

_"Thanks Opie. But most people would rather just pretend that I don't exist than admit that I'm the town drunks daughter." Tara said looking down at her shoes again. _

_"Why don't we go together?" Opie asked. _

_Tara's head shot up, "What?" _

_"Why don't I take you to homecoming?" he asked again smiling, "It'd be fun. Plus we can make fun of everyone like we used to." _

_"Are you sure?" Tara stuttered, "What about Donna?" _

_Donna walked up just as she said it, "I'm okay with it. I have to babysit tomorrow night anyway." she said, "Hey Tara." she added smiling. _

_"I don't know. I don't have a dress." Tara said shuffling her feet. _

_"Do you have to be home right away?" Donna asked _

_"No, my Dad is working until 6 and then he'll go to the bar." Tara answered looking at Donna curiously. _

_"Good. Then we'll go to that new consignment shop on main. They have some really cute dresses in the window." Donna said grabbing her arm, "Come on. I need a night away from him." she said nodding at Opie smiling. _

_"Donna I don't know." _

_"Please." _

_Tara looked at Opie, "Are you sure you want to take me? People will talk." she said casting a glance at Jax. _

_Opie stepped towards her and put his hands on her shoulders, "I'll take care of Jax and if anyone talks we'll just ignore them and have a good time." he said. _

_"Okay." Tara stuttered casting another glance at Jax as he made his way towards them. _

"Wait Opie asked out my Mom?" Abel asked looking at Bobby.

Bobby laughed, "yeah he did. He knew what she meant to your Dad."

"How did Dad react?" Abel asked stretching his legs out in front of him.

"We're getting there."

_Donna parked her car in front of the little consignment shop. "Oo that red dress would look killer on you." she said dragging Tara inside behind her. _

_"I don't know Donna. I'm not used to getting attention." Tara said looking at the dress, it was pretty. It was a red satin, umpire waist, thick straps, a v in both the front and back, full skirt with just a little of black tulle sticking out. _

_"I'm going to get the manager to get it off the mannequin. You're trying it on." Donna said walking away. _

_Tara walked up to the mannequin. Feeling the material she smiled it was so slick. Catching the price tag her shoulders slumped, the dress was $30. She didn't have that kind of money. To most people $30 wouldn't be a lot but Tara had to buy the groceries for herself and her Dad or they would starve. _

_Donna came bursting up, "What's wrong?" she asked when she saw Tara's face. _

_Tara looked away, "I can't afford the dress." she said quietly. _

_The manager came walking up, "Hey girls I'm Lyla. Which dress are we looking at?" _

_"The red one." Donna said pointing, "is there any way we can negotiate on the price?" she asked when Lyla had it in her hands. _

_Lyla looked at Tara, "Can't afford it?" she asked sympathetic. _

_"No." Tara said looking down embarrassed. _

_"I'll make you a deal." Lyla started, "I need some extra help getting price tags on everything and then getting it all on the racks. How about I charge you say $10 for the dress and then on Saturday and Monday you come in for 3 hours and help me out." _

_Tara stared at her, "Really?" she asked. _

_"Yeah. Every girl should feel like a rock star at their homecoming. And you're friend is right, with your raven colored hair this dress is going to look fabulous." Lyla said. _

_Tara continued to stare at her and then remembered that her Dad wouldn't let her leave the house on Saturdays, "I can't come on Saturday, but I can on Monday and Tuesday." she said quietly. _

_Lyla put her hand out, "Deal." she said smiling, "You girls try on these dresses and I'll find you all some killer jewelry." _

_Tara followed Donna back to the dressing rooms. She was nervous and excited, "Tara come on. I want to see that dress." Donna begged from outside the dressing rooms. _

_Tara stepped out and in front of the three way mirror, "Wow." Donna and Lyla said smiling, "this dress was made for you." Lyla said standing beside Tara, "and this necklace will go perfectly."_

_"Lyla I can't afford a necklace and the dress." Tara said looking at the combination. _

_"Well then consider the necklace a loan." Lyla said smiling, "you can bring it back on Monday." _

_"Are you sure?" Tara asked looking up at her in the mirror. _

_"I'm positive." _

_"Okay. Thank you." _

_"You're welcome" _

_Tara paid for her red homecoming dress and Donna gave her a ride home. _

"The store owner just let Mom borrow the necklace without asking for anything?" Abel asked looking at Bobby.

"She did. Lyla was like that. She trusted your Mom." Bobby said smiling, "All of town knew how your Grandpa was and many of them had seen your Mom taking care of herself. It was hard to not want to help. Lyla knew your Mom wouldn't just take the dress so she made a deal with her."

"Wow. Mom's life was never easy was it?" Abel asked looking at her tombstone.

"No it wasn't." Bobby said.

_Jumping out of Donna's car, Tara made her way inside, hung up her dress and laid the necklace out on her vanity. Walking into the kitchen she started making dinner, lasagna, her Dad's favorite. _

_Tara was just pulling the lasagna out of the oven when she heard her Dad's cutlass pull into the driveway. Smiling she got out plates and cups, setting the table she smiled when her Dad came in, "Hi Dad." she smiled. _

_"Hi Tara." William Knowles said setting his bag down, "Lasagna, what's the occasion?" he asked coming to sit at the kitchen table. _

_Tara cut him a piece and gave him some garlic bread, "I got asked to homecoming." she told him. _

_"By who?" William Knowles asked setting down his fork. _

_"Opie." _

_"The Winston kid?" _

_"Yeah." _

_"You're not going to be hanging around him and that Teller boy are you?" _

_"No Dad. Opie just wants to go the dance and make fun of the whole thing and asked if I wanted to join him." Tara said smiling, "Plus Jax Teller doesn't do dances." _

_"A first name basis, huh?" _

_"No. I don't really know him, just his name." _

_"How late would you be out?" _

_"10?" Tara asked. _

_"Okay. What are you going to wear?" he asked, "I don't have the money for you to get a dress." _

_"Opie's girlfriend, Donna, loaned me a dress." _

_"Alright you can go. But Opie will pick you up here and I will meet him and he will drop you off and walk you to the door." _

_"Deal." Tara said smiling, "Thanks Dad." _

_"You're welcome honey." he said before digging into his lasagna. _

_After dinner Tara cleaned up the kitchen. Put the left over lasagna in the freezer to reheat at another time. Her Dad sat in front of the TV and watched the news while guzzling away some bourbon. _

Abel shifted, "I thought Grandpa treated Mom worse." he said.

Bobby rolled his shoulders, "He did. He had some nights where he was a normal Dad who loved his daughter but 90% of the time he could care less about your Mom and what she wanted."

"Did Dad hate him?"

"Yeah he did. But the feeling was mutual." Bobby said smiling, "Your Dad hated how your Grandpa treated your Mom and your Grandpa didn't think your Dad was good enough for your Mom."

"So normal family stuff?"

"Pretty much."

"How did the dance go?"

"I'm gettin there." Bobby said laughing, "There are days you are just like your old man. Always impatient."

_The next day at school Tara could barely sit still. She was so excited about the dance that night. At the end of the day she was at her locker when Donna came up, "Hey girlfriend. Ready for tonight?" she asked smiling. _

_"Yeah. Are you sure you're okay with me going with Opie?" Tara asked._

_"Positive. You don't like Opie do you?" Donna asked leaning against the lockers. _

_"No." Tara said adamantly. _

_"Then I don't mind. Plus you like Jax, so I have nothing to worry about." Donna said looking out on the courtyard. _

_Tara in the mean time had dropped her books onto the ground, "I don't like Jax." she stuttered picking up her books. _

_Donna looked down at her, "Yeah ya do. It's okay, tons of girls fall for his smirk and charm." she said, "it's like a rite of passage to have a crush on Jax Teller." _

_"Well I'm not a one of many type of girl." Tara said putting her stuff back in her locker. _

_Donna put a hand on her arm, "That's a good thing. And I didn't mean you liking him as a bad thing." _

_Tara shook her head, "I'm sorry. I just..." _

_"It's cool. You have standards for yourself." _

_"Yeah I do, but you weren't wrong." _

_"You do like him?" _

_"Yeah. I have since I was in 7th grade." Tara admitted, "I'm just not the type of girl to get his attention. I actually like to wear clothes, not take them off." _

_Donna doubled over with laughter, "Oh girl you kill me. But I think Jax may surprise you." _

_"How?" Tara asked shutting her locker, "he's a playboy." _

_"You'll see." Donna said, "Ready for the dance?" she asked again. _

_"Yeah, but now I'm a little worried." _

_"Don't worry, dances really aren't Jax's thing." _

_Tara laughed and walked to Donna's car. When they got to Tara's house her Dad's cutlass was in the driveway, "Oh no." she whispered. _

_"What's wrong?" _

_"My Dad's home." Tara said opening the door. _

_"So?" Donna asked turning off her car. _

_"It's never good when he gets home before me." _

_"Tara, tell your friend goodbye and get inside." Williams Knowles slurred. _

_"Bye Donna." she said quickly as she rushed inside. _

_"What are you doing getting a ride home from school?" he slurred backing Tara into a corner. _

_Tara looked at the ground, "Donna was going to help me get ready." _

_"What?" William yelled grabbing a handful of Tara's hair. _

_"She was going to help me get ready for the dance." Tara explained wincing. _

_"What dance?" he slurred as his grip on her hair tightened. _

_"Homecoming. You said last night." she tried to explain as she coped with the pain from her head. _

_William laughed, "that's why you made lasagna. Butter me up huh?" _

_"No." _

_"Bull shit." he screamed in her face, "You're not going to any dance." he said shoving her at the hallway. _

_Tara crashed into the corner of the wall and stumbled back to her room. Shutting her door she sat on the floor and cried. She finally had someone to talk to at school and now she was going to lose it. _

_After a couple of hours, William Knowles headed to the bar. Tara got into her dress and waited for Opie. _

"Wait, so Mom went to the dance anyway?" Abel asked sitting up.

Bobby nodded, "Yeah she did. Your Mom loved her Dad, but she also wanted to hang out with Opie. At the time your Uncle Opie and Aunt Donna were your Mom's only friends. She was excited to be out of her house for the night."

"She wasn't excited to see Dad?"

"Your old man in high school was a jackass. He knew he could any girl and he did. Your Mom didn't like or want to be like the girls your Dad usually hung around."

"But they loved each other."

"Not at the beginning of high school." Bobby explained, "Now do you want to hear about the dance or not?"

"Yeah." Abel said smiling, "I want to hear what Dad did to Opie."

"You are so your old man's son." Bobby laughed.

_Opie walked up to Tara's door and knocked. Stepping back his jaw dropped when Tara opened the door. She looked marvelous, not like her usual casual self. Looking up and door, Opie let out a low whistle, "Wow Tara you look great." he said as they walked to his truck. _

_"Thanks Opie." Tara said climbing inside, "You clean up nicely yourself." she told him as he started the truck. _

_"How late can you be out?" he asked. _

_"10." she said nervously. _

_"Your Dad not home?" _

_"No. He left a couple of hours ago." Tara said. _

_"Cool. Let's go have some fun." _

_"Sounds good." _

_The drive to the dance was filled with laughter as Tara and Opie caught up. When they arrived at the school they made their way inside, getting looks from all side. Most of the school knew that Opie had a girlfriend and at the same time that Tara didn't have many friends. _

_Walking towards the bleachers Tara and Opie sat down, "so Donna passed something onto me." _

_"What's that?" Tara asked apprehensively. _

_"That you like Jax." _

_"Oh God." Tara said covering her face, "Opie you can't say a word to him." _

_"I won't." Opie said smiling, "Plus I think he might like you too." _

_"Yeah right. Mr. big man on campus like the town drunks daughter." Tara said while rolling her eyes, "Give me a break." _

_Opie laughed and left the subject alone. For the next hour and a half Tara and Opie caught up about school and life, and still made time to make fun of the dance and the people who had attended. Soon a slow song came on. _

_Opie stood up and offered Tara his hand, "One dance and then I'll take you home." he said. _

_"Okay." Tara said standing up and taking his hand. _

_Neither Opie or Tara had noticed Jax and Donna walk into the gym. Donna smiled as Opie put his hands on Tara's waist. Her new friend looked wonderful and Opie looked uncomfortable. Smiling she didn't notice Jax stalking his way across the floor. _

_Jax grabbed Opie by the shoulder and laid him out, "What the hell?" he snarled glaring down at his best friend. _

_"Nice to see you too Jax." Opie said standing up. _

_"Shut up Ope, what the hell are you doing?" he asked glaring at Tara. _

_Tara watched as Jax and Opie started to circle each other. They had gained the attention of everyone in the gym. Looking around she found Donna. _

_Donna walked quickly to her friend, "don't worry. He's not mad at you." she said linking her arm with Tara's. _

_"How do you know?" _

_"Because he's pissed that Opie asked you first." Donna laughed as Jax got Opie into a head lock. _

_"Jackass you know how I feel about her." he swore into his best friends ear. _

_Opie punched Jax in the stomach, "Then why don't you do something about it?" he said blocking another punch from Jax. _

_"Because." Jax said running head long into Opie, taking them both down. _

_Donna guided Tara back, "shouldn't we?" _

_"No let them fight." Donna said, "They need this." _

_"Because isn't an answer ass wipe." Opie said rolling to pin Jax. _

_Jax kneed Opie in the back, "Why would she like me?" he asked shaking as he looked at Opie. _

_"I don't know. Why don't you ask her?" Opie said looking towards Tara and Donna. _

_Tara blushed and smoothed an nonexistent wrinkle out of her dress, "What are you talking about Opie?" Jax asked. _

_"She's standing right there ask her." Opie said letting Jax up. _

_Jax looked at Tara, "what's he talking about?" he asked still laying on the gym floor. _

_Tara looked at him, "I like you." she squeaked. _

"Wait so Dad laid into Opie cause of Mom?" Abel asked smiling.

"Yeah. Your Dad was furious that Opie had asked Tara to homecoming." Bobby said smiling.

Abel shifted to lay down, "It's not like Dad was going to ask Mom to homecoming, so I don't get why he was so mad."

Bobby laughed and stretched out his legs, "Your Old Man was territorial. Especially when it came to your Mom. No he wouldn't have asked her to homecoming and it's probably a good thing Opie did, but he didn't want anyone else having your Mom."

"So Dad loved her even before they officially became a couple." Abel said smiling thinking about his fiancé.

"At that point I don't think it was love at that point. More like your Dad thinking with his dick."

"Like he always did." Abel said grimacing.

"Yeah." Bobby admitted watching the oldest Teller boy.

"What happened next?" Abel asked not wanting to dwell on his Dad being a cheater.

_Jax just stared up at Tara, "You like me?" he asked. _

_"God Jax you're an idiot." Donna said, "she just said that." _

_"Shut up Donna." Jax said standing up. Coming to stand in front of Tara, "why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked. _

_"When would I have done that?" Tara asked sarcastically. _

_"You could have found the time." Jax said. _

_"Oh yeah cause I want to look like one of many following you around school. Just to get a bone." she said shoving past him. _

_Jax grabbed her arm, "Tara you're not one of the many." _

_Yanking her arm away, "Well thank God for that." she retorted glaring at him. _

_"Why are you mad at me?" Jax asked. _

_"Because you're making this sound like my fault. You haven't exactly made it easy to talk to you lately Teller." _

_"Maybe if you weren't so God damn shy." _

_"I'm not shy!" Tara seethed glaring at him. _

"Mom was a spitfire." Abel said amazed.

"I wish you had gotten to see her alive Abel. But yeah she was. Never let your Dad get away with shit."

"Good for her."

"Yeah it was."

_Turning to walk off, Jax grabbed Tara's hand, "I'm sorry." he said, "I can be a real asshole." _

_"Ya think?" Tara said looking at their hands. _

_"I don't know how to do this." Jax admitted. _

_"I think we just have to be honest." Tara said. _

_"Okay." Jax said. Cupping her face Jax gently lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Tara grabbed a hold of his t-shirt as Jax's hands found their way into her hair. Pulling apart Tara blushed, "that's one way to be honest." she giggled. _

_Jax put his forehead against hers, "I want to try this." he said. _

_"Me too." Tara said, "But I won't be one of many Jax. It's either only me or not at all." she said pulling away. _

_"Okay only you." _

_"Really?" Tara asked sounding more desperate than she meant too. _

_"Yeah Knowles. You're worth being monogamous for." Jax teased putting his arm over her shoulders. _

_"Such a romantic Teller." she said laying her head against his shoulder. _

_Opie and Donna both looked at each and smiled. Their plan had worked. Jax had finally admitted to liking a girl for more than a one night stand. Tara finally had friends standing in her corner. _

"Wow, I can't believe Mom gave in that easily." Abel noted.

Bobby came to sit beside him, "Abel she didn't. Every day after that your Dad had to work to show your Mom how much he really cared for her." he said, "Your Mom was no push over."

"But she always forgave him." Abel pointed out getting angry again.

"Abel, listen your Mom and Dad were like a moth and a flame, always attracted with no cure. You couldn't separate them. For the three years before your Mom left Charming for college your Mom and Dad were attached at the lips. They only broke for oxygen." Bobby explained, "Things when they were adults were complicated. I can't say why your Mom always forgave your Dad for thinking with his dick."

"Me either." Abel said sitting up, "If Dad loved Mom so much why did he let her leave? and why did he marry Wendy?"

Wendy walked up, "I can answer that." she said.

"Hey Wendy." Bobby said standing up, "I'll let you explain that part of history."

"Thanks Bobby." she said sitting down.

"Sorry Wendy. I didn't mean."

"No Abel it's okay." she said, "Jax loved your Mom so much. When she decided to leave he was heartbroken. His dream had always been SAMCRO, your Mom as his old lady, them running Charming together. But your Mom she had dreams. Dreams she couldn't have if she stayed in Charming."

"So she left and you married my Dad."

Wendy smiled, "Not at first. After your Mom left Charming, your Dad went through a rough patch. No woman was safe from him fucking them. Your Dad and I happened because we were drinking buddies who had a habit of fucking afterwards."

Abel shifted uncomfortably, "Sorry." Wendy said looking at him.

"It's okay. I know Dad had a habit of using women to deal with issues." Abel said looking away from Wendy.

"That he did."

"Why did you marry him?"

"Honestly I don't know." Wendy admitted, "Gemma was pushing for us to get married. We had been hooking up for two years, she thought marrying me would help your Dad forget about Tara."

"But it didn't."

"No it didn't. Our marriage was a time out for your Dad. For a while Gemma left him alone about moving on and I thought I could make him happy." Wendy said looking at Jax's headstone, "Then you happened."

"Was Dad happy?" Abel asked.

"At first yeah. We tried to make it work out, but just couldn't. I wasn't Tara and your Dad didn't love me like I wanted him to."

"I'm sorry Wendy." Abel said looking at her.

"It's not your fault." she said looking at him.

"I mean for everything. For not calling you Mom and stuff."

Wendy moved to sit beside him, "Abel, I gave birth to you. But this woman," she said patting Tara's headstone, "This woman here was your Mom. Tara loved you like you were hers. Took you on, loved you, protected you." she continued, "I would never want to diminish that. I knew when we left Charming that I wasn't your Mom." she finished.

"I wish..." Abel said before stopping.

"I know ya do." Wendy said kissing his head, "the night that Jax told you I was your first Mommy made my life. I was so happy that you finally knew, but at the same time I was so worried about what it would do to you."

"I don't really remember Mom." Abel said wiping his eyes.

Wendy put her arm around his shoulders, "Your Mom was a wonderful woman. A bitch when someone messed with her family, but so loving and generous. She only wanted what was best for you and Thomas. She would be so proud of you two, going after your dreams and making something of yourselves."

"Dad would be pissed." Abel said smirking, just like Jax.

"Only because your back in Charming." Wendy said.

"Can you tell me anything about when Mom came back to Charming?" he asked looking at Wendy.

"Not a lot. I can tell you that she had faith in me to get better and beat my addiction to drugs." Wendy said, "she even let me hold you before your Dad let me."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I knew she and your Dad had reconnected, but at the same time she saw me as your Mom at that time. She let me into the nursery and let me hold you." Wendy said smiling, "Asked what I was going to do."

Abel smiled, "I miss her."

"I know you do." Wendy said, "But here comes someone who can tell you about when your Mom came back in more detail."

"I thought I would find ya both here." Chibs said sitting down.

"Hey Chibs." Wendy said getting up, "I'm going to head back to the clubhouse." she said hugging Chibs and waving to Abel, she made her way back to her car.

"What's up Abel?" Chibs asked.

"Can you tell me about Mom and Dad when she came back?" he asked looking at his Dad's best friend.

"Ah boy." Chibs said, "That was a great time at first."

"He loved her."

"Yeah he did. It was written all over him." Chibs admitted, "It was odd to see your Old Man so smitten with a woman, but at the same time it was refreshing."

"Tell me about it."

"What would you like to know?"

"All of it." Abel said moving towards Chibs, "Anything you can tell me."

"You don't ask for much do ya?" Chibs teased.

"I try." Abel answered smiling.

"Alright well let's start at the beginning, the day you were born." Chibs said leaning against Jax's headstone.

_Begin Flashback: _

_Jax led the pack down the hospital hallway. Wendy had OD while pregnant with his kid. As they approached the room, Jax slowed down, Tara was inside helping. _

_Tara turned and walked out of the room, ready to face Jax and his family, "What the hell happened?" Jax asked looking between her and Wendy. _

_"When was the last time you saw her?" Tara asked looking at him, "A couple of weeks." Jax answered. _

_"Her hands and feet are full of tracks." she started, "Toxicology reports aren't back yet, but it's most likely crank." _

_"The baby?" Jax asked looking in the room once more. _

_"We had to do an emergency C-section. He's 10 weeks premature." Tara said somberly. _

_"Holy shit." Jax replied shocked. _

_"Come on let's sit down, I'll walk you through it." she said turning. _

_"Just tell me." _

_Tara turned around and faced him again, "He's got a congenital heart defect and gastroschisis, a tear in his abdomen. The gastro and early birth are from the drugs. But the CHD is probably." she started. _

_"The family flaw." Gemma interjected standing beside Jax. _

_"Yes, it's genetic. Either one would be serious but not life threatening however the two of them together, Dr. Namid gives him a 20% and I'm afraid that's being optimistic." Tara finished watching Jax. _

_"Oh my God." Gemma whispered. _

_"She never wanted to talk to me, I didn't know." Jax said looking in the door at Wendy. _

_"Dr. Niroby said she missed her last three appointments, no one knew." Tara replied, "Dr. Namid wants to fix his belly first then if he stabilizes he'll go in and try to repair the heart." she continued, "I'm sorry Jax. I can take you to see him now." she finished turning and walking towards a different door. _

_"Tara." Jax said walking towards her, "you don't have to do this. I'm sure you've got other patients." he finished. _

_"I asked Dr. Namid if I could assist." she answered looking up at him, "I wanna help your son." _

_"His name's Abel." _

_"That's a good name." _

_"Jax." Tara said watching him walk away. _

_"Jackson." Gemma called. _

_"Go with Tara." Jax called to his Mom, stalking out of the hospital. _

_"Watch his back." Clay instructed. _

Abel shifted and looked at Tara's headstone, "she wanted to help me even though I wasn't hers." he said staring at her name.

"She did." Chibs answered, "Abel, your Mom loved you so much. You meant so much to your Dad and she knew that."

"Wow. I just thought." Abel started.

"Thought what?" Chibs pushed.

Abel shook his head, "I just thought she took me on cause she loved Dad and I was a part of the package."

"No, Tara loved you like you were her own. She was a fierce mother bear."

"Like Gemma." Abel commented shuddering.

"No, nothing like Gemma. Your Mom was a smart woman who wanted a better life for her boys."

"Tell me more."

Chibs smiled, "Well things weren't always sunny and happy for your parents."

"That I know."

"Alright just listen."

_Tara came quietly down the hall startling Jax, "Jesus I thought you were at work." _

_"I have that vacation time." Tara said moving into the room. _

_"Right. Shit I'm sorry we can't go." he said loading more guns into his bag. _

_"No of course. I know." _

_"Did you see my Mom?" _

_"Yeah, she's kind of numb." _

"Chibs, what does this have to do with my parents?" Abel asked looking at him.

"Getting there, boyo."

_"Maybe you could keep an eye on her today." _

_"Okay." Tara said as Jax made his way towards her. _

_"I love you." _

_"I love you too." Tara replied before Jax kissed her hand and headed towards the front door. Following after him, "I got suspended from St. Thomas." she started, "They figured out what I did for Chibs, there's a hearing in 2 weeks." she finished. _

_"Jesus Christ." Jax replied, "what does that mean?" he asked looking at her. _

_"Worst case scenario I love my license, best case a black mark that follows me my whole career." _

_"Shit." Jax swore shaking his head. _

_"I wasn't going to tell you." Tara said quickly, "It's the last thing you need with everything that's been going on." she continued, "but I just don't want any more secrets, Jax." she finished frustrated. _

_Jax set his bag down and walked towards Tara, "it's okay. We'll get through it. Just like everything else." he said with his hands in her hair. _

_Tara wrapped her arms around Jax's shoulders and took several deep breaths, "You know it would kill me if I knew you were sleeping with other women." she stuttered. _

_"What?" Jax asked surprised pulling away. _

_"Cheating. It's a deal breaker for me." Tara she pushing her hair behind her ears, "And at some point, playing house it isn't going to be enough." she continued. _

_"Tara can we talk about this?" Jax asked before getting cut off. _

_"I'm gonna want a baby or two." she said quickly. _

_"Jesus Christ." Jax said watching Tara ramble on. _

_"And I need to know that whatever this is, is heading in that direction." she finished. _

_"Tara." Jax said adamantly. _

_"I know I'm sorry." she said looking down, "I needed to say all of that. Probably should have done it in smaller doses." she admitted looking at Jax. _

_"I haven't been with anyone since this became whatever this is." Jax told her calmly, "And I wouldn't have told you all the shit I have if I didn't think this was moving towards something more." he finished. _

_Tara looked up at Jax embarrassed, "Sorry come here." Jax said pulling her into his arms. Jax held onto to Tara tightly, putting his hands deep into her dark brown hair. _

"So Dad was calm about Mom telling him she didn't want him cheating?"

"Yep, even loved her more for it."

"Then why did he always cheat on her?" Abel asked angrily, "I mean with Ima and Collette. Come on he couldn't have loved her that much." he finished glaring at Chibs.

"Oh Abel. You're Dad was a complicated man, he didn't always think things through." Chibs stated, "When you got kidnapped by Cameron the whole club in a tizzy, your Dad didn't know which was up and which way was down. Ima was a mistake, your Dad fucked her to hurt your Mom; to make her want to leave him, because up until that point she had been behind him 100%"

"Why did he want to hurt her? I don't understand that mentality."

"You had been kidnapped, Jax was in a very bad place, he didn't want to see someone else he loved get hurt."

"But he did hurt her."

"I know. But to him, pushing Tara away was better than something even worse happening to her." Chibs said calmly, "You're Dad wanted her to be safe and he thought her being with him was dangerous."

Abel nodded and looked at Tara's headstone, "Were they at least happy?"

Chibs smiled, "Oh Abel, you're parents were so happy." he said, "let me tell you about the day your Mom surprised your Dad by not leaving Charming."

_Tara was sitting on the floor playing with Thomas in his nursery when Jax came to stand in the door way. She knew something was wrong when he moved to come sit beside her, "The CIA is behind this Irish Cartel deal. The Irish walk away it all falls apart and the feds take us all down." he said seriously. _

_"Oh my God." she replied shaking her head. _

_"I'm not supposed to tell anyone Tara." Jax replied looking at her, "I can't have anymore secrets." he finished shaking his head. _

_"Okay baby." Tara replied placing her hand on his cheek. For a moment Jax and Tara just stared at each other not knowing what to say next. "You have to stay," she finally acknowledged. _

_"Walking away from my club is one thing, but letting it die. I can't" Jax said upset. _

"He could never walk away from SAMCRO!" Abel pronounced angrily, "if he had let SAMCRO die then Mom would still be alive." he said standing up and starting to pace.

Chibs sat and watched Abel, he was so much like his old man; passionate, angry and looking for answers, "Abel anything I tell you isn't going to bring your Mom back. I'm sorry boyo I really am. I loved your Mom, she was a great woman. And your Dad, he... he loved her more than he ever knew."

"Just go on." Abel said with his back to Chibs.

"Okay."

_"It's part of me. I'm so sorry." he said looking into Tara's eyes, "I know you have to go. Take our boys, go to Oregon, I'll send you all the money you need." he said starting to cry. _

"Wait, Dad told Mom to leave with us?" Abel said turning around.

"Yes he did and it broke his heart." Chibs answered.

"Why didn't she leave with us? I'd still have a Mom and Thomas would actually know the woman who gave birth to him."

"Abel listen." Chibs said straightening out his legs.

_"I love you so much." Jax said fighting back tears. Getting up he left Thomas's nursery with Tara staring after him. _

_Tara broke down after Jax had left the room, "He's mine." she said to herself. _

"So Mom didn't leave with us because she loved Dad." Abel said sitting back down, calmer than before.

"Yeah, she loved your Dad so much. He was hers and no one else's; not even the clubs." Chibs said.

_Jax walked into the club house and looked at his brothers. Walking into the chapel he sat down at the head of the reaper table, his new seat as President. The men all filed into the chapel and took their places. Chibs now sat where Tig used to. Happy sat beside Tig and Juice was the last one to enter and shut the doors. _

_Jax banged the gavel and looked around the table as the door opened. Tara stood in the door, "Sorry." she said looking at the men. _

_"It's okay." Jax replied motioning for her to come in. _

_Making her way to Jax she knelt in front of him, "I'm not going anywhere." she said, "I'm here baby, I'm here." she said putting her head against his as heels clicked outside. _

_Jax looked towards the door and saw Gemma standing in the door way. Tara turned and saw her also. Standing up she ran her hand through Jax's hair before laying it on his shoulder. Looking towards Gemma with a look of determination in her eyes, she slid her arm across Jax's chest, marking him as hers. _

As Chibs finished he pulled out an old picture and looked at it, "I thought you might like to have this." he said handing it to Abel.

Abel took the picture and looked down at his parents. Both strong and completely in control of SAMCRO, his Mom looked like a force to reckoned with while his Dad sat at his place ahead of the Reaper Table. "Thank you Chibs." he said staring at the picture.

"You don't have to thank me. Your parents would want you to have it." he replied stretching.

"Can you tell me about the day they got married?" Abel asked looking up.

"Yeah."

_Jax walked past Tara to go help Tig make sure his daughter was safe but stopped. Turning he faced Tara, "let's get married. Today." he said looking at her back. _

_Tara turned around, "are you serious?" she asked. _

_Jax nodded, "I thought you wanted to..." she got out before Jax cut her off. _

_"I don't wanna wait anymore." he said, "whatever happens Tara, I want you to be my wife." he said smiling, "I always have." he finished. _

_"Here. In a brothel." she said jokingly, "wanted for murder." she finished. _

_"Hey, I'm all about the fairytale baby." Jax said smirking. _

_"So much for romance." _

_"I killed a fed for you. Nothing says endless love like capital murder." Jax pointed out as Tara stepped closer to him. _

_"Well I guess that's true." Tara admitted not able to hide her smile, "who should I tell?" she asked. _

_"No one." Jax answered, "just do it." he said, "do something for these knuckleheads later." _

_"Jackie we need to go." Chibs interrupted. _

_"I'll make the arrangements." Tara said before Jax kissed her. _

_"I'll see you later." Jax said smirking, "make an honest woman out of you." he finished for nipping at her lips. _

_"Good luck." Tara said as he walked away. _

"Where was Dad going?" Abel asked.

"He was going to help Tig find his other daughter."

"The one that doesn't talk to him anymore?"

"Yep. Pope was a dangerous man who had a price on all of Tig's family for what he had done to his daughter."

"I thought Dad and Tig didn't get along."

"They didn't, but your Dad knew what family meant." Chibs answered, "It was something to be protected."

_"I didn't plan it." Jax said to Gemma when she handed him the marriage license. _

_"Don't you insult me with an excuse." Gemma spat back, "Where's Tara?" _

_"You leave her out of this." Jax instructed, "I was the one who told her not to tell anyone." _

_"Hey man, Judge Cooper gotta split soon, we need to do this." Nero said giving Gemma time to get away to find Tara. _

_"Alright," Jax replied turning back to find his Mother entering the women's restroom, "aw shit." he said. _

_"You looking for me?" Tara said looking at her make-up. _

_"Sheyeah." Gemma replied sarcastically. _

_"Not how you planned it is?" Tara asked applying her lipstick. _

_"Not being invited to my son's wedding, no it's not." Gemma replied _

_"I meant Jax marrying me." Tara said closing her lipstick, "You hated the idea 14 years ago." _

_"Life moves on. We change. I hate new things now." Gemma said snarkily. _

_"Just say it Gemma." Tara said throwing down her make-up. _

_Gemma walked to the counter and pulled out a safety pin, "these were mine and John's. Figured you didn't have time to get rings." she said laying them on the counter. _

_"You alright?" Jax asked after he opened the door. _

_"Yeah." Tara replied. _

_"We're going to lose our John Judge." Jax replied still standing in the doorway. _

_"I'm almost ready." _

_Jax didn't answer but shut the door. _

_"I would like to stay and watch you marry my only son, you okay with that?" Gemma asked. _

_"Yes." Tara replied shakily. Gemma left afterwards to go out and watch. _

_Jax and Tara then exchanged rings. _

Abel just sat for a few moments, quiet, "They didn't even get a day." he finally said, "before everything changed."

"Abel."

"No, if Opie hadn't gone to jail with them than Mom and Dad would have stayed happy." he argued.

"Abel, your Mom would have become widowed." Chibs pointed out.

"What?" Abel asked looking at Chibs.

"Opie took your Dad's place in that fight. If he hadn't gone to prison with us, your Mom would have lost your Dad a lot sooner."

"But she lost him anyway, he was never the same after Opie's death."

"No he wasn't, he was hardened."

"And then Mom went to prison, because Dad asked her to talk to Otto." Abel said agitated again.

"Your Dad regretted asking her to do that when she went to prison and refused to let him come see her."

"That didn't stop him from fucking Collette and breaking his promise to my Mom." Abel shouted.

"Abel, nothing is going to take that pain away." Chibs said calmly, "I know you're angry and you have every right to be."

"If he had just left." Abel said shaking, "then Mom would still be alive."

"Your Mom got him back for Collette, she beat her ass when she found them together and made your Dad realize what he had done to her."

"That doesn't matter. She's still dead."

"But not because of your Dad. He did everything he could before she died to save her and you boys." Chibs stated watching Abel break down.

"He didn't do enough."

Nero walked up and looked between Chibs and Abel. He knew that Abel was struggling, he wanted so desperately to know what had happened between his parents. It was the only thing that had been driving him for almost 10 years, the need to know how they feel in love and caused them to fall apart.

"I'll take it from here Chibs." he said sitting down beside Tara's headstone.

"Alright." Chibs said standing up, "Abel, I know this won't help, but your Dad was destroyed when he found your Mom. He lost everything that day." he said before walking away.

"Is that true?" Abel asked turning to look at Nero, "Was my Dad really destroyed?"

"Yeah son he was." Nero agreed, "After losing your Mom, your Dad was never the same. He was a shell of the man he was when she was alive."

"Even when he was fucking Collette?" Abel spat.

"Your Dad did a lot of stupid shit and that was probably the worst. He knew it was a mistake, but he was in pain, your Mom wasn't letting him in." Nero started, "He wanted your Mom to love him and let him know what was going on, but she couldn't."

"So he cheated?"

"Yes, he thought with his dick, which he did a lot."

"Not helping Nero."

"Sorry essa. I'm just giving you the truth, the truth you have known your whole life."

Abel sat down shaking, "I just want to know if my Dad loved my Mom."

Nero put an arm around Abel's shoulders, "he did. He really did. Your Mom was his whole world, she was made him whole." he stated, "that's why he did everything he did, he wanted revenge for your Mom."

"But she wouldn't want that."

"No she wouldn't, but your Dad only knew violence. He was doing what he knew."

"Why?"

"Abel listen to me, your Dad loved your Mom that's why Gemma is sitting on death row. He couldn't let her get away with killing your Mom, the love of your Dad's life." Nero said, "yes he made mistakes, but never for a second did he not love your Mom, he wanted to give her the world."

"So he sent Gemma to jail?"

Nero laughed, "Gemma controlled your Dad and his life. She murdered your Mom in cold blood because of something she thought she knew. When your Dad found out he wanted to kill her, but he knew that if he did she would be getting off scot-free, she wouldn't suffer the way he had. So he had her arrested and taken away from you and Thomas." he said, "do you remember any of that?"

"A little. Dad came home with Gemma behind him. He was livid. He sat on the couch holding both me and Abel, we couldn't go near her. The door bell rang, Wendy answered the door. The sheriffs came in and handcuffed Gemma, Dad walked with us to the door, 'say goodbye to your grandsons, because this is the last time you'll ever see them. You've hurt them enough.' he told her."

Nero nodded, "The next day August Marks dropped Bobby off at Teller-Morrow, planning to kill him to be a payback to your Dad, but changed his mind at the last minute."

"Killing my Dad instead." Abel said looking at Jax's headstone.

Shifting Nero pulled something out of his pocket, "I got this in the mail a few days ago. I didn't know how to give it to you." he said handing the envelope to Abel.

"It's from Gemma." Abel said looking at him.

"Yeah, her execution date is Sunday."

Abel nodded, "I'll let you read the letter." Nero said getting up and walking back towards his car, where Bobby was waiting.

Opening the envelope Abel took a deep breath as he pulled out the piece of paper.

_Abel, _

_My sweet Grandson, I love you so much. I never meant to cause you pain or harm, I just wanted what was best for you; like I did your Dad. Your Mom was a dangerous woman who manipulated people to get her way. She wanted to take you and Thomas away from your Dad, away from your family. I couldn't let that happen. I just wanted to protect my family. _

_I don't know if you'll get this in time, but I would love to see you and your brother. It's my last request to see my grandsons before I die for protecting my family. _

_I love you, _

_Grandma _

Abel was shaking by the time he finished reading the letter. Pulling out the lighter he always carried he lit the letter on fire, "You're a liar Gemma. You didn't want to protect me or Thomas, you wanted to keep our Dad to yourself. Our Mom was going to get him out of Charming and away from you." he said angrily stomping out the ashes.

Turning Abel looked at his parents headstones, "I'm sorry Dad. I really am, I can't be you. I won't be you. I love my fiancé and I can't imagine hurting her the way you always hurt Mom." he said looking at Tara's headstone, "I love you Mom. I miss you every day." he said having no idea that Nero was behind him.

Nero placed a hand on Abel's shoulder, "It's okay to not want to be like your Old Man, but don't write him off all together. Take some time, your Dad was a good man who lost everything." he said before walking away.

"I can't do that. I won't do that." Abel said turning back to the headstones.

Bobby made his way across the graveyard, "Abel, Nero's right you can write off your Dad just yet. Right now you're mad at him. And you have every right to be, he hurt your Mom and lost her." he said, "But he also loved her with his whole heart."

"How do you know for sure Bobby? Cause everything you all have told me makes it sound like my Mom was just a convenience."

"Abel if that's what you got out of all of this, then you missed the point. Your parents had a wonderful life together. Yes they had some rough patches, but they always found their way back. No it wasn't always perfect but they worked through it." Bobby stated, "The night Tara died your Dad had decided to let her go and take you boys with her, he was doing something that would make her happy and keep her and you boys safe."

Abel nodded, "Because he loved her."

Bobby nodded and turned to walk away.

Bobby and Nero made their way back to the clubhouse to wait for Abel.

Abel sat at the graveyard for another hour, thinking about everything he had learned that day. When he had first arrived in Charming he had been convinced that his Dad hadn't loved his Mom, but now he knew he did, but couldn't figure out why he would hurt her so much.

Standing up he looked at his parents headstones, "I'm sorry. I just can't be like you." he said walking towards his motorcycle, an exact replica of Jax's.

As he pulled into clubhouses lot he saw a familiar bike, Thomas's. Getting off his motorcycle he walked towards the door and ran into his brother.

"Thomas." he said surprised.

"Hey brother." Thomas replied pulling his older brother into a hug, "did you really think I was going to let you do this alone?" he asked as they pulled apart.

"No, I guess not." Abel said as they made their way into the clubhouse.

Walking in they stopped when they saw the wall that used to be covered in mug shots it read, _In Memoriam_ and underneath was a picture of Jax and Tara, their Mom and Dad. It was from their wedding day. Abel wiped away a runaway tear.

Thomas put a hand on his brothers shoulder, "Go take your place." he said.

Abel looked at Thomas and nodded. The rest of the guys watched as Abel made his way into the chapel.

Walking in Abel looked at the old Reaper Table, the place where important decisions had been made for so many years, the place that had changed his Dad.

Stepping forward, Abel sat down at the head of the table and looked around. Slowly he picked up the gavel and banged it down.

Thomas stood outside the windows of the chapel with some of his Dad's best friends, the men who had been around him when everything changed, the men who had seen him die. Looking in he saw Abel finally fulfill what Gemma would have wanted if SAMCRO was still something instead of just a motorcycle club.

* * *

><p><strong>Five years later: <strong>

Abel walked towards the familiar headstones, except this time he wasn't angry. Over the past five years he had come to accept that his Dad had loved his Mom with everything he had. Abel and his fiancé, Laura, had gotten married and now had two kids. Some days were harder than others, while others Abel loved coming home to his wife and kids.

Sitting down on the new bench he looked at the headstones, "I get it now." he said looking at Jax's headstone, "You really did love Mom." he said, "I'm sorry I was so angry, I just didn't understand." he admitted.

Soon a shadow was over Abel, looking up he found Thomas, "What are you doing here?" he asked giving his brother a hug.

"I knew you would be here." Thomas said sitting down, "Plus I have something to tell you before we head to Bobby's wake."

"What's that?" Abel asked looking at Thomas curious.

"I'm moving to Charming."

"You're what?"

"I'm moving to Charming. I accepted the head surgeon position at St. Thomas."

"Following in Mom's footsteps."

"Yeah." Thomas said looking at Tara's headstone, "I wish I had gotten more time with her." he said sadly.

"Me too brother." Abel answered as a little voice broke through the air, "Daddy." the little dark headed boy squealed as he got closer to Abel.

"Hey little dude." Abel said scooping up his little boy.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

"Well JJ would you like to meet your Grandpa and Grandma?" Abel asked kneeling down.

"Yes." JJ answered shaking his head vigorously.

Abel gently turned, "Mom, Dad this is your grandson, JJ which is short for Jonathan Jackson." he said holding J.J. close.

Turning he saw Laura making her way to them, "and the beautiful red head heading this way is my wife Laura, she's holding our daughter, Grace. Dad, Grace looks just like you and Me, it's kind of scary." he admitted standing to put an arm around Laura's waist.

"I wish I had gotten to meet them." Laura said handing Grace over to Abel.

"Me too Babe. Me too." Abel said.

Thomas stood up and picked up JJ, "We should get going if we are going to make Bobby's wake." he said.

"Yeah, let's go." Abel said.

As they walked away, Abel looked over his shoulder, "Good bye Mom, Dad." he said.

What Abel didn't know what that Jax and Tara had just met his wife and their grandkids. Tara turned to look at Jax, "Thank you for getting our boys out of Charming."

* * *

><p>Don't forget to leave a review telling me what you think! Thanks for reading Things I Never Knew About Them.<p>

Keep an eye out for my next story! (I don't have it titled yet)


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